The Essential Qualities of a Best Man

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Post Contents

1. Introduction

The Essential Qualities of a Best ManThis post will discuss how you can discover if you possess the essential qualities of a best man. The following list contains the top six qualities that any person must possess to successfully fulfil their best man duties.

At the moment you probably have no idea what these qualities are, if you have them or how to get them! Our first piece of advice is not to panic! No one is born to be the perfect best man but with the correct preparation you can acquire these qualities and succeed in your role and the delivery of your best man speech.

It is important at the outset to remind ourselves that we are not robots and every person has a set of qualities that are unique to their own individual personality. However, the role of best man at a wedding requires a high level responsibility and the following six qualities are universally required for any person carrying out the role.

2. Well Informed

During the wedding preparations and throughout the actual day you will undertake many different roles, provide assistance and resolve a number of problems that may arise. To enable you to do this successfully you must be well informed. As a rule of thumb the more organised you are, the more informed you will be, so now is the ideal time to invest in a personal diary or electronic organiser.

One of your initial best man duties should be to speak to the bride and groom regarding the wedding arrangements and in particular try to understand what the bride expects. You should also identify the key members of the wedding party especially the bride and groom’s parents and the chief bridesmaid.

You should understand the format of the day, your level of involvement and where everyone should be at specific times. Checklists and wedding day prompt cards can be used to ensure wedding preparations are completed on time and to guide the flow of events on the day.

3. Sensible

A healthy dose of common sense will go a long way to helping you resolve any problems that may arise before or during the wedding day. The best solutions usually come from people who are acting sensibly and level headed. You may wish to enlist the assistance of the bride and groom’s Father’s on the wedding day they will no doubt be able to give you some advice based on their experience and will appreciate your request for them to be involved.

As part of your role you will also be expected to arrange the stag party and organise the troops throughout any activities you have planned. During these celebrations, someone with a sensible head is usually required to herd large volumes of alcohol induced man flesh around a number of venues and that my friend, is you.

4. Punctual

Punctuality is an essential quality in successfully fulfilling your best man duties. You will be responsible for the groom’s time keeping as well as your own and it is critical you arrive at the service on time!

If you are a notorious heavy sleeper you may wish to ask a reliable person to ensure that you are awake. You should time your preparations and travel plans in advance, considering aspects such as road works, traffic conditions, local events and the time of day.

The wedding day is the bride’s special day and you can bet your bottom dollar that she will expect it to run like clockwork. You can use a best man checklist or schedule to ensure you complete all your essential duties at the correct time.

5. Alert

Being alert during the day will enable you to spot any problems early and keep everyone happy. Grinning like a Cheshire cat will not fool anybody but you should have a friendly and warm smile as you listen to and watch what is happening around you.

One successful technique is to imagine you are much taller than all the other wedding guests as you cast an observing eye over what is happening beneath you. This will help you to identify areas where you can offer assistance or involve guests throughout the day.

6. Confident

The best man speech is usually the most dreaded part of the day. This is probably the part of the day that has caused you the most sleep loss. A good speech is important and to deliver this you must prepare and practise your skills to become a confident communicator. It is important however to keep your speech in context and no one expects you to be a comedian or deliver a professional performance. The three essential key points below should make the speech seem a little less daunting:

  • Your speech should be between three and five minutes in length. When you consider this, it is a very small part of the overall day
  • Everyone at the reception will be looking to relax and have fun and nobody will be in the mood to criticise you
  • Concentrate on being yourself and deliver a best man speech which suits your personality

The best, best man speeches are short ones which have been prepared on a personal level and rehearsed to ensure they are delivered sincerely.

7. Sober

Once the speeches are complete you can breathe a sigh of relief but your duties as the best man will continue throughout the day and evening. The people who perform this role to the highest level understand and appreciate this.

Nobody expects you not to enjoy yourself but to fulfil your duties of a best man you need to stay reasonably sober. The best man speech will not be a roaring success if you deliver it slurred and you will be considered in much higher regard for entertaining the guests than being slumped in an unconscious state.

If knowing when to stop is a problem for you, ask for the support of a trusted friend who can purchase your drinks or help you monitor your limit.

8. Conclusion

Best ManAside from the bride and groom, the best man is the next most important person in the wedding party. As the best man you will be expected to carry out a variety of roles up to and on the wedding day.

Over the next few minutes consider your own personal qualities and ask yourself if you possess the essential qualities of a best man. Do you like to keep well informed about what is happening? Are you sensible, punctual, alert and confident? Most of all when the pressure is on do you have the resolve to stay sober?

Every person is an individual and we each have our own unique set of abilities. If you possess or can acquire the essential qualities of a best man you have an excellent chance of succeeding in your best man role. If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d share it and let all your friends know or leave us a comment below.

About the Author
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Stuart Sellars is the founder of the Best Man Survival Guide website and the author of The Best Man Survival Guide and The Best Man Speech Template Kit.
A veteran best man he has survived the role no less than five times! A convert to the principles of life coaching, Stuart has a positive “getting things done” attitude to life.
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